September 2

Dad-Beards

I was thinking about dad-beards today. Don’t ask me why. My brain doesn’t make sense. But here’s what I was thinking.

  1. They’re terrible. Don’t grow one. Ever. Not even if you have a great reason (you know who you are)…because they still look silly. And, yes, food is getting stuck in there.
  2. I’m not cool enough to grow a beard. Seriously, I’ve tried. Not for want of a beard, but because some weeks I just don’t feel like shaving.

So maybe I’m a little jealous of you dad-bearders. I mean, even if it looks ridiculous, at least you had the option.

I got my haircut yesterday and the stylist asked if I was keeping my ‘burns’ (her term, not mine). I hesitated. I’ve had these sideburns for 19 years. Maybe it’s time for a change. But then I just couldn’t do it. Why? Because when was I was 16 I got a job at McDonald’s, and they forbid sideburns (long, thick, curly hair spilling out of your hat was fine; but nobody wants a sideburn hair in their burger!). Two years later, I left that job to go to college, and within a month I had a sweet pair of ‘burns’ I didn’t know I wanted in the first place. (It would have taken less time, but as I mentioned, my facial hair’s a bit on the slow side).

So to all you dad-bearders out there, I understand. And I’d probably have grown one too…if I could have. But think long and hard about whether or not you want to keep it, because 19 years from now, when a barber asks if you’re keeping the beard (right after he brushes a large piece of salami from last Wednesday’s lunch out of it), how would you want to answer?

May 9

Ten Things You Should Know About Jaramy

10. Yes, his name is really spelled like that.

9. He lives in the middle of nowhere and he likes it that way.

8. He used to have a blog about his cat, but he wasn’t very good at posting and his cat made him give it up.

7. His first publication was an article about weightlifting. He was inspired by reading one-too-many issues of Men’s Health.

6. His favorite ice cream flavor is Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey. It’s been his favorite flavor since he was 7 years old, so be careful when you pick your favorite flavor – you might be stuck with it for a long time.

5. He’s married to a poet. She writes much more serious stuff than he does. Her poetry will probably change the world. Jaramy’s just hoping someone, somewhere, will read a funny line he’s written and laugh milk out of their nose.

4. He sent his very first young adult short story into a contest and won. Holly Black picked the winner, which is pretty cool. (If you’re interested, you can read it here.) He’s never written another young adult short story, which is pretty stupid, since apparently he’s good at it.

3. He has a toddler that wakes him up far too early and likes to climb all over him. He doesn’t mind. Well, he minds the waking up early part. That stinks. But the climbing all over him part is actually pretty fun.

2. If he could meet any author in the world it would be Louis Sachar. He’s read Holes more than any other book. Except maybe The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. He would like to meet Douglas Adams too, but that would be pretty hard.

1. At this very moment, he is probably work on another middle grade novel, or at least thinking about one. Then again, he might be fixing himself a strong cup of Chai tea to help him stay awake, because his toddler was up way too early again.

April 30

My First Post

This is my first post. Isn’t it awesome?

I am going to attempt to post on a semi-regular basis…but I’ve said that before. Hopefully this time I’ll actually stick with it. If not, at least I can say I have a website. And a first post.